Well, the job at the bar didn't work out so well. Last Sunday, I worked 10 hours and made only 20 dollars! It also seems I have this problem with guy customers or co-workers who ask for my phone number. I'm not interested, but if I say no (and they know I am single) they won't tip me well. So I feel obligated.
Fortunately, I got a job at this great restaurant, right next to Six Flags and R@nger Stadium, called Humperd1nk$. Haha, like from the Princess Bride, remember? It's super tough and there are 7 days of training, but I think they make great money there. Plus, the food is amazing. It's funny, all the guys up there seem to have tattoos. In fact, there's this cute manager whose my age and is all tatted up. I don't know if he's my type, though, but I get nervous around him. Anyway, I'm THRILLED to have this job and will NOT mess it up like the other ones. Plus, working helpes the bulimia be less prevalent, so that is an advantage.
Now THIS is what I'm freaking out about. Travis (the ex) is coming to stay at my apt for a week or two. He knows about the binging thing, and I've done it in front of him before, but he tries to stop me. I get so mad when he does that, but I really feel guilty and hate doing it in his presence. I want to badly to be "good" while he is here. You know, just eat healthy, go to work, have him train me (he's a personal trainer), keep the apt clean, and go to work. I would LOVE for things to be normal.
I still haven't heard back from the health insurance people about treatment, but now that I have a good job, I don't think it would be a good idea to leave. Oh, and I will post pics of Calypso next time using Travis' camera!
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About Me
- Beth
- Texas, United States
- I've been bulimic and in college for 6 years.It has taken away my education, boyrfriend, money, and friends.
7 comments:
I'm so glad you got a job at that restaurant. I hope you enjoy working there and maybe make some new friends. I miss waitressing because there are so many coworkers that you are bound to get along really well with a couple of them.
Congrats on the new job...it sounds like you're much happier there.
And it sounds like Travis is good for you too. But only you can make the decision to heal...no one can force you.
I hope you can get into treatment. You're so brave for being so open about all of this, and I'm betting there are a lot of people who will learn from you.
((((HUGS)))))
congrats hun on the new job, sounds awesome!!!! My bf now is all tatted up and you know I never thought I would like a man who looked like that but guess what!!!! There hottttttt hahah!!!
Good luck with the Travis stuff, I hope it goes ok babe!!!
xo Lauren
ps darlin!!!!
Treatment is very important, if you have the opportunity to do it please do not pass that up!!!!!!
you will beat this Beth!
xo
Hey Beth,
I hope the job is working out for you:) . I am thinking about you today for some reason. Give us an update on treatment!!
xo
Sole
You weren't projecting on my blog...My throwing up is self inflicted but not after I eat. I do it when I get anxiety because it causes me to feel less anxious. I know it's really bad, but it helps me feel better.
Hi Beth, I don't know if you remember me, but 2 years ago you tried to give me some of the best advise I SHOULD have taken... I didn't. I was the chick who was trying to recover from bulimia by being on a super low carb diet..haha it's funny when i think about it now, that was Sept 2006. You tried to talk some sense into me but I wasn't having it. Anyways, in Dec 2007, I went into the hospital and then spent 2 months in an inpatient/residential ED program, then 6 weeks in outpatient/partial program. It was the best decision I ever made. I was taught how to live without my ED. We had groups several times a day, outings a night, and therapy. The food was catered and meals were timed, after the first week we worked with the nutritionist to pick our own meals.
I can say now, that since Sept 2008 (two years after we last spoke) that I am recovered. I use to only think of where I was going to get my next fix. Food and my body grossed me out, I was miserable; starving and full at the same time. I was purging up to 12 times a day and blowing through money on my 'drug' of choice.
I go out to eat now and eat what I want and stop when I'm full. I don't feel guilty. I also think that this medicine I'm on, Topamax, helps make you full faster. It's primary use is for migraines but it's secondary use is for help with bulimics. Once I started taking this, I was able to slow down my thought process and almost have a calm feeling about food and actually understand it's role in my life.
Anyways, I'm happy. I never thought it would be possible, but it really did happen, I really am free from this eating disorder.
I wish you all the best. I'd love to hear how you are doing.
-Deirdre
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