Something New

Okay, ENOUGH about plastic surgery, beauty, thinness, etc. One of the only good things that I have developed in the 4 years since high school is the realization that money, things, and beauty can't make you happy. Yesterday I was driving around, quite lost, in Dallas trying to find this Wal Mart (the only kind in the country) with organic food, sushi bar, novelies such as those. Well I was trying to find this intersection and found myself among a private, woody, exclusive neighborhood of estates. Not mansions or anything, but each home was eclectic, refined, and I'm assuming well over a million. A while ago, I would have stared longingly at them, thought "why didn't I grow up like this", and dwelled on how I am going to have all that one day. With spite or jealousy towards girls my age with that fortune. But yesterday it was nice to see these new unique homes I didn't know existed, but mainly I was concerned with being lost and not wasting gas! Oh well, I found out the store was actually on another street with the same name, and managed to navigate back to Arlington, settling with Whole Foods.
I met up to watch the Spurs/Mavs game with a guy from match.com last night. He was okay, great to talk to ( a psych graduate), but not captivating to me. I was concerned more with my nose being uneven and told him as much. It is still swollen bc the splint came off earlier that day. I really didn't care about trying to be a good date, besides I always pay for myself! Well the game was probably the highlight, as my Spurs finally came back. I had half a margarita that was nasty and was reminded that I don't like the taste of even strawberry margaritas. So I was buzzed and maybe slightly tipsy and feeling a little better. I only ordered a half order of the salad, and still felt overly full afterwards. Whats that about? It always feels like I am fat and bloated if I eat more than 350 calories at once. I'm not trying to starve myself, but its so hard to be NORMAL! Will it ever happen? I was disappointed at the lack of chemistry between this dude and I. It seems like I only get crushes on guys before I meet them. Afterwards its just not that great. Not that I'm trying to find a new boyfriend, but some excitement would be a nice change! So after my good day, on this day, I conceded and got some "bad food" before going home. It wasn't even fun. I hate the disease so much now and desire real life, that the bingeing just isn't as thrilling as it used to be. I know thats a good sign, but the next step is finding something to help me say NO at those impulse instances. Any suggestions?