Well I'm drunk or buzzed, yay! Unforutunately in bed alone. Althjough if a guy were here we'd only be making out. But...so tonight my roommate and I went to bar and I had some beer (I haven't drank in sooo long). And a semi cute guy talked to us and bought us a drink. Whatever and then I saw a cute guy and introduced myself bc you know all that fake confidence is just working!! So I had to talk to both of them separately. I met a really cool girl there too, she taught english and is working on her phD, impressive! so I masked the perpetual deparaession for a few hours.
Bad, bad, bad. I went 3.5 days withough b/p. Then today Travis comes over and we have a talk. He said we're maybe not on a break and maybe not broken up forever. He wants me to fxi my ed and irresponsibility. The weird thing was I didn't have any cravings till he got here then I was overwhelmed with food cravings. Almost shaking. He thinks I do better without him. I have been going to the gym and eating healthy for the last few days. So why does his presence or us being togethr make me want to binge? He thinks he is the cause of making it worse! Could that be true? Say it is isn't so! Please, please, pray for me to fight the monster ED. I am determined.
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praying 4 you!! You can do it Beth...3.5 days is awesome!! I'm in my fourth day too!!! clean! So go for it, don't let anything or anyone change your mind ;).
hey, I've just seen your comment, of course you can do the challenge with me!!!! Ok you are at day one again, doesn't matter, but keep going! you are so strong, believe me, 21 days is relatively easy if you focus.I say relatively bc the ed thing is strong...but, we can make it through. I'm focusing in that goal!! Let's do it Beth ;)
3.5 days is awesome! That's interesting that his presence makes you want to binge. Sometimes I binge to make excuses to avoid people. I know that sounds weird. If I don't feel like being with a guy then I find that I binge so I can say, "Well theres no way I could be with a guy when I look and feel stuffed." Anyway, 3.5 days!! That's half a week my dear! The numbers will keep increasing.
hey girl thanks for alwasy leaving comments!! I love them! Congrats on 3.5 days that is grrrrrrrrreat!! I hope you have a wonderful day!!
Remember you are loved and thought of everyday!! smile God loves you and I do too!!
You can do it, I have complete faith in you =)
That's interesting that you think (and your bf or ex bf thinks) that he might bring out the ED in you. I highly doubt it's specifically HIM but I know whenever I'm in a relationship I tend to forget about taking care of myself as much. And when you're battling to defeat a monster as big as ED, you really do need to focus just on yourself without having to worry about other people/things.
My thoughts and energy are here for you.
Keep your chin up, put on some music that makes you feel good, and just relax your mind and heart.
I pray for you daily Beth, Travis may have a bit to do with things, but ultimately WE have to take responsibility for our actions, no matter what the cause, I hate dealing with the truth of that but I do know it's true.
I'm have a hard time M and I well bacisally I ended it today, he can't deal with the word "relationship" and fuck I deserve one a healthy one ,and so do you sweetie. Maybe Travis is not the ONE and maybe he is, only you know the answer to that, but know I'm here anytime, even if just to listen!!
You are amazing and I don't care how many times I have to tell you that because I will continue until you believe!!!
oh Beth!!!! I am so sorry that things are sucking for you right now. I am hearing that maybe you are having a hard time dealing with the stress of a relationship. I am sure Tyler doesnt make you "worse", but that stress does and right now you guys are stressing about your relationship. I am hearing from you that maybe you do not feel like you are good enough for him and therefore are feeling really bingey. It happens to me all the time.....goddammed lousy self esteem, loves to pop up at the worst time ever.......why do you think you might feel you don't deserve this man?
I KNOW you deserve only the best!!!
xoxo
Sole
Beth, you are strong, u can do it i'm sure!!
:D
how's it going beth?? thanks 4 ur comment, really it's hard for me to not eat the whole box of chocolates!! they are at my side right now...dangerous!! LOL... but i'm doing fine...
It's a week now yes, but still is difficult to mantain control!!! yesterday i had a huge urge to binge but i passed through it.
XOXO!!! And you're right, i need to focus on school for my future... try to think the same :D
Thinking of you this am Beth and I hope you made it thru this weekend with out any slips!!Can't remember if I did!!! Ugh that did not sound to good!!!
xo hun Lauren
We've been broken up for about 3 months now. I'm glad my post gave you hope. You'll be able to get over him...it'll take time and a few tears but you'll do it =)
Thank god we don't celebrate thanksgiving here!!! but i think about christmas and i don't know, abstinence is an option???? LOL That day i need to mantain control...
Yeah, it could be him, Beth.... But, I think that, if it isn't him, it's going to be something/someone else. He's just the object that something within you is projecting upon. Basically, it's not him, it's you. But, he brings it out -- he brings out your insecurities, anxieties, etc....
No one can take those 3.5 days away. Maybe the anxiety of the uncertainy of the relationship triggered the binge, if that makes sense?
Be proud of yourself for getting so far and know it's possible to do again.
Vicky XXX
Hey there,
Hope you are doing well, hon.
DG
Beth Beth Beth!!! Just wanted you to know how you are so on my mind and I hope your well!!!
xo Lauren
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