Update

Even if no one reads my blog anymore, I suppose it will be theraputic to post. Here goes... I've gained a bunch of weight. Let's say I'm 20 lbs above my goal weight. And if it's progress, my gw is NOT my lowest weight. Yeah, none of my jeans fit and I find my body really ugly and average right now. Then again, I never got the joy I'd expected when I was at my gw, either. So whatever, more importan than attaining this gw is for me to graduate college soon. Things are looking up!
I've not been missing any of my 5 and 1/2(that's pilates, lol) classes this semester. My top priority each day is completing assignments and studying, not binging. I LOVE having a sense of purpose now, aiming for all A's, considering grad school, and of course, planning out a cute outfit each night for the school day! There's something about dressing up that makes me feel important.
Unfortunately, it's still here, visiting for an hour or two each day, returning multiple times on the weekends. Filling my thoughts constantly during precious class hours. Bulimia is the dark shadow suffocating my life. It is also my security blanket. What to do? Small steps I suppose. I make a meal plan each night for the following day. I surf the internet or do homework to avoid binging. Next week I have an appointment with one of the school psychologists. There is progress and I am thankful, but it is hard not to want to suddenly get better.
I can't forget this. Travis (my ex) and I are back together. We aren't perfect, but we're happy. I want to get better for him almost as much as for myself. I see how hard he works and know I can put forth similar effort in life.